Yes, we now have a crib for Lucero. However, she's not exactly sleeping in it. She did make it through one night, but only one, and that was a while back, so I can't even remember what I did to get her through it. Shortly after we got the crib Lucero came down with another stinkin' runny nose, which included a little cough. Well, these stupid little coughs wake her up throughout the night, so I saw no point to keeping her in the crib, if she was going to continue to wake all night, thus waking me all night to get up and help her clear her throat. So she slept on the bed with me for about two weeks. Anyway, she's over her little runny nose/cough, but reintroducing her to the crib has not been easy. I put her in there for naps and at the beginning of her bedtime, but about an hour later she wakes, she cries, I get up and try to comfort her, laying her down again, but at that point she has no interest in sleeping alone in the crib. And so I just let her join me on the bed, 'cause usually I'm tired and don't feel like dealing with it.
Let me remind you of the setup: it's me and her in the same room. The crib is about a yard away from the bed I sleep in. It's not easy for me to ignore her if she cries in the night. Basically her biggest problem is she doesn't know how to put herself to sleep, so when she wakes in the night, she doesn't know how to soothe herself back into a slumber. In an attempt to teach her how to fall asleep on her own I left her in the crib and walked out of the room. This was for her nap. She wasn't overly exhausted before I put her in there, but I detected she was tired. Anyway, like I said I left her in there and walked away. Well, little miss thing had a fit and cried and cried. I left her in there for an hour and she cried that whole entire hour! I finally came to get her and she was so worked up that it took me thirty minutes to soothe her to sleep. In my arms. Once again.
This is driving me crazy. I have no idea how to teach this girl to go to sleep. She is strong-willed and will cry and cry. Actually I've never attempted the placing her in the crib at night and leaving her. She would probably cry for hours and hours. I would be ok with that, but unfortunately I live with my parents and they probably wouldn't enjoy hearing their only grandchild crying for hours. Plus, my question is, since we share a room, once she falls asleep from all the crying, wouldn't she wake hearing me go in there later to put myself to sleep? Then I would be back at square one, right? Thoughts? Suggestions? Or do yall think I'm worrying too much over something that will eventually work itself out?
8 comments:
I think it would be much easier if she were in a bedroom of her own. Of course, I, living in my in-laws basement, am well aware that we can't have everything we want.
I don't know what I would do. I think I wouldn't worry about it until she does have her own bedroom, just because it's really difficult to be in the same room while she screams. It's not worth it, I don't think.
Unless you're hard-core about wanting her to sleep in the crib. If it's that important to you (it very well might be--my kid takes up our king-size bed when he sleeps with us), then just keep trying. Maybe put some toys in there with her so she thinks of it as a good place to be.
We got our guy his own tv and dvd player so he could watch Little Einsteins before he went to bed. It had to run all night at first, but now he sleeps just fine with the tv off.
OOps. That first comment was actually mine. I was on my husband's screen and forgot he was logged in. :)
I think you should politely ask your parents if you can let her cry it out at bedtime. Tell them it will suck but that it gets better as the days go on. Also, what time is she going down? I would think you should have her down around 7,7:30, right? Even if she cries for 2 hours, are people going to bed before 10 in your house? We cried it out with my son when he was 3 months and he cried for a full hour the first night (and we were at that time staying at my sister's so we were sharing a room with him). We snuck in and he slept through the night, til 7 or so. The next night, he cried for 45 mins, the next for 1/2 hour, the next for 15 minutes. Once you are strong the first couple of nights, they realize that you mean business. But you can't go in and soothe them because you are shooting yourself in the foot. I know all this sounds SO mean, but now we have a great little sleeper and let me tell you if he didn't wake up in the morning, the world's happiest baby, i would totally have thought twice about it all.... your question about potentially waking her up when you go in, generally when kids are out, they are OUT. She is probably just not used to this whole sleeping through the night thing. You've got to train her now before you have a 3 or 4 year old who's killing you because you are still not getting a full night's rest. It's not fair to her or to you. You need rest to be a good mommy. Sorry so long! Just my two cents.
Diego slept in his own crib until he got sick at 11 mos and then it was tough putting him in his own crib. So he slept in our bed with us up until a few months ago. He'll be 3 October 1. We had no problem putting him in his own bed. He went and laid down and then slept thru the night and so sometimes he'll come and sleep with Mom and Dad and I'm good with that.
It is totally up to you as to how and when you get her to sleep in her crib.
I used to be a "they should sleep in their own bed" type of person and hen I said eff that. It was harder on me than on him having him sleep in his own bed.
I know I wasn't a big help but you'll get there and it'll happen when you're both ready.
I'm sorry for I really have no advice for you. I'm not really a "let them cry it out" mom...while it may really work for some babies, it never worked for Josiah (and I never wanted to try it again with Laney). I know quite a few parents who co-sleep with their children until they're ready for a "big-kid" bed. How are YOU sleeping with her in the bed? Are you waking feeling rested? That's an important consideration. *wink*
It's definitely hard being in the same room. Laney had a hard time sleeping at my parent's house a couple of weeks ago because she's not used to having us in the same room....but she DID get used to it. *wink*
Good luck...maybe I would try a couple of different methods. ???
I understand your predicament. Although we put our son in the crib from the first night we brought him home, and gradually let him cry it out from the time he was 16 weeks. The progression was very similar to Anonymous' experience: within about 5 days he would go down without crying for more than 5 min or less.
But when we get together for friends for a beach weekend, or take him to my parents' house, I don't feel comfortable letting him cry for too long out of consideration for the others. If I lived at my parents' that could have been a real problem in teaching sleep.
I would recommend drawing a line in the sand, put on your "Mean Mommy Pants", send your parents out to dinner at Lucero's bedtime on Friday night, and letting her cry it out, although you could peek your head at 15 minutes, then 25 minutes later, then 30 minutes later, so she'd know she wasn't alone. Just don't pick her up, touch her or even talk to her, because that rewards her for crying. At this age, it is becoming a battle of the wills.
Also- stack the deck in your favor. Give her a shorter nap that afternoon and let her swim all day or be very active, so she'll be realllly ready for some quality sleep time when you put her down. Also, we use a white noise machine that soothes our son and helps block out household noise (like you returning to bed)! Bed Bath and Beyond carries a very good one, about $30, less if you get the 5 bucks off store coupon.
Then repeat the process at naptime on Saturday, and Saturday night, staying consistent so she learns that this is now her routine. Hopefully by Sunday night it won't be such a painful process...
I know that every kid is different, but don't give up and I know it will improve! Please let us know how it goes and good luck.
If you really want her in the crib you have to let her cry it out. It will get better, but don't get discouraged if it takes her a little while. Just be consistent with it, because once she realizes that you will eventually give up, she will cry until you do. Broady is right about trying to get her as sleepy as possible, it should really help.
Also, if she wakes up when you go in try having her crib right by your bed, so she can hold your hand to comfort her, without having to get her out of the crib. Good luck, I know it's hard but if you stick to it you will be so glad you did.
Try reading the book "Sleeping Through the Night" - it offers great suggestions and practical ways to help your baby sleep on their own and establish healthy sleeping patters for life.
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