The Early Days

I just found these pictures in my e-mail. I had sent them to myself from my old cell phone. These were taken about this time last year.

This first one, she's probably about a week old or so. I look pretty scared.


This one was taken about a week after the first one. Luckily, I had put makeup on that day.


This is really the only decent evidence I have of us together in the early, early days. She's so chubby and cute, I could just squeeze all the cuteness out of her and drink fresh Lucero juice.

And yes, that's my bra.

Wanted: A Job

First things first, I'm sure many of you are interested to know in Golightly's status. Well, not much has happened lately. From what I understand, she is breathing better on her own, she's opening her eyes more and keeping them open for longer periods of time and even tracking people's movement in the room. The latest update I received a week ago said:

"Today while the speech and phys therapy worked with Golightly they sat her up in what is called a cardiac chair ( allows for upright and resting positions). She tolerated it very well. Also her infection count has been going down , so all very good things today! "

What is sad is through an e-mail conversation with one of Golightly's closest friends, she revealed that Golightly didn't even want to go out that night of the accident. She instead wanted to stay home and have a game night. Well, obviously they convinced her enough and she was even supposed to be the one to drive everyone home, 'cause she didn't want to drink. However, Cowboy's old roommate insisted he could handle it, but turns out his blood alcohol was over twice the legal limit. This is very infuriating.

Some of yall asked if Golightly's family is looking into a lawsuit. The same friend revealed that her mother is indeed speaking with an attorney and he is doing the best to ensure that Golightly receives her fair share for the ordeal. So that's the latest on our dear blogger friend. Keep praying for her.

As for my life, well it's peaches compared to Golightly. I'm beginning to look for a job. Let me make this clear. I really don't want to work. I don't think anyone does, but it's a necessary evil. It's not that I don't want to work. I just know I'll be super distracted thinking/worrying about my little one. However, I do not have health insurance and the money from my tax return is running low, so this means I must get back to work.

As far as X and his job status, he decided he wants to go back to school. Because he was laid off from work, he will get some or all of his schooling paid for. He decided he wants to go through this nursing program. I heavily questioned his interest in nursing, but apparently he is serious about it and has done his research and still wants to pursue it. Personally, I think nursing is a dirty job. Yes, it pays, but still, the only butt I want to wipe is Lucero's, thank you very much. (I'm sure there is more to nursing than wiping asses. I hope I didn't offend any nurses out there.)

But back to me. So I'm looking for a job. This is painstakingly difficult in a small town. I'm not saying there aren't jobs out there, but most of the jobs in this area do not require more than a high school diploma. Well, I have a college degree and about six years of marketing experience. This has got to be good for something. Also, I would like to be compensated for my previous experience. Though this isn't the big city and cost of living is much less, I still want to make a decent wage, something that will be worth my time being away from my child.

I've been trying to send out my resume (I say trying, because this is proving to be difficult with a crying infant at my heels), but I'm not even sure how to approach it. I'm basically e-mailing job search prospecting letters to local places, including the city, county, whatever, but I have no idea what to open with. Most career websites would say to specify what position you are seeking. Um, how can I specify what position I want if I don't even know what exactly they do there? Or the fact that I don't even know if there are positions available, period.

I did pay a visit to the county judge, but he said there were no vacancies in his office at the moment. But he in a way gave me the impression that he's sorry that he had to pass up on my application, because he made it seem as though qualified and experienced employees are hard to come by. Well, I feel the same on my end, sort of: I know I'm qualified to work somewhere. However, finding that place of employment is the hard part.

So that's my life right now. If anyone has any suggestions or advice on the job search, please comment. I would really appreciate some insight, especially if I'm looking at this situation in the wrong light.

Life at Twelve Months

It's been one busy month for us, but like I've said before, I can't believe how quickly time flies. The good news is Lucero finally decided to crawl like a normal baby instead of doing her booty-scootin' boogie. She will occasionally resort back to her ways, but for the most part she's on all fours. She's even attempted some steps on all twos. She might take two to three, maybe even three to four, before she falls over, but she's getting there. I don't mind that she's not walking yet. This home is so completely unchildproofed. There's a ton she could get into, so I'm very glad she's taking her time with walking. Besides, I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with her now.

In other developmental news, we have begun to see the sprouting of some teeth on top. I guess this means she won't be going through life with only two bottom teeth. Besides these major significant advancements, I haven't noticed much else. She doesn't talk much, well at least not using real words, but she's really good at pointing at things she wants. And she's really good at protesting when she doesn't get something. Please tell me this is normal, you other mothers out there.

The other thing I notice is when it's just her and I alone she will throw major crying fits if I leave the room. She tries her hardest to come chasing after me, but usually I've already returned, because, HELLO, I was only leaving the room for a nano second to retrieve something. However, if there's other people around, she barely notices when I leave, which is good I guess. But then she gets really attached to other people also, to the point that when it's time to go or the person is leaving, she throws more crying fits, putting her arms out to them, so they'll take her (or keep her, whatever the case maybe).

So that's life with her in a nutshell. And now her latest stats:

Height: 29.5 in
Weight: 19lbs 6oz.
(She's been under the weather the last two weeks, which contributed to her loss of appetite, which also contributed to me pushing back weaning, because the only thing she was ok with having was my breast.)

And here she is in all her twelve month glory...



With Uncle Steven


I don't know if you'll be able to spot her in these next two photos. Her father got her this lovely camouflage ensemble, which causes her to blend in with her surroundings. (Other fathers who are interested in finding the same, please visit your nearest Academy.)

Her baptism, where the Padre doused her with a ton of holy oil. I'm not even joking about this. The baby before her got a dime size amount, while my daughter got a half dollar size. Seriously, it was like she was getting a shampoo of holy oil.



Lucero with her Easter treats. We didn't really hide eggs for her. More like we threw a dozen or so of them on the lawn and sat her next to them.

She also got little summer tops and tanks in her basket.

Me and my awkward pose with my daughter.


Oh, did I mention her baptism took place on Easter Sunday. That's why her hair looks so greasy.

With Grandpa


Me and my sweetie pie


Us at NIOSA. If any of you thought I would miss out on this year's Fiesta in San Antonio, you would be wrong. Not only did we make the first night, we brought our baby along for the ride. And even despite the "no strollers" rule, we still had a great time.

Lucero figuring out cascarones.

Me and the girl

I cannot tell you the number of times we got stopped by people wanting to play with Lucero. Everyone adored her.

Nice beads, Lucero.

This was the bench where we took breaks at. I find it funny that Farrah is holding a beer in one hand and a pacifier in the other.

And of course I got my annual picture with a cop. Lucero was off getting a snowcone and missed this one.

The next day at Chipotle, oh how I've missed that place.



Us with Miss Ashley


Lucero attempting to help dad wash the car.

Gotta wear that sun hat, girl. You're dark enough as it is.



On her actual birthday

At her birthday party.

Party favors...

Momma and baby

Getting her first whacks at the pinata.

Feeling a bit frustrated

Cousin Samuel enjoying his turn, while other children look on.

Yum, fresh lemonade. (More like fresh frozen lemonade actually.)

Me and my mustache.

Lucero comes from a hairy father, that's all I've got to say.



Singing Happy Birthday

So as you can see, we had a busy month, but a fun one at that.

Unbelievable

I'm trying to find words to convey my thoughts on the last year of my life, her life. There aren't really words to describe it. And saying "there aren't words," though cliche, pretty much sums up how I feel.

My baby turns one today.

Too often I've relived the events of last year in my head. I think, "At this point I was only four months," Or I would I enter whatever number of months I was at that point in time. Early on I would say, "I wasn't even pregnant yet." Last night I was thinking how a year ago we were eating at the Olive Garden, how I lived my last free weekend and how in the middle of my sleep I was interrupted by a need to pee only to find a surprise in the toilet, signaling she would be making her way soon.

Too often I've thought about my labor and her delivery. In my head and the way I tell the story to others, it's as if I'm the only woman to have ever given birth. And maybe the reason I love telling the story or rethinking it at least to myself (I can only share the story one so many times with people) is because it was a special shared moment just between me and the girl. Ok, sure, the room was filled with nurses, the doctor and even her father, but no one else in the room was experiencing the struggle of this life-changing experience: Me, giving birth for the first time ever, and her, being born.

And now here she is, turning the big ONE! I remember holding her in my arms on her birthday and wondering how I would ever make it to her first birthday. Still to this day, number 366, I wonder how I made it. There's been so many trials, tribulations, annoyances, fumbles and yet we made it together, both somewhat in tact.

Along with the bad, came so much good. I've been able to experience this little beauty every day! She's the reason I've smiled so much in the last year. She's been the best sitcom, best drama, best action film of the year! I remember when she was a newborn and my mom asked me, "Do you ever get tired of looking at her?" Without hesitation I answered no and still to this day she's a feast for the eyes. I never tire looking at the curves of her face, the twinkle in her eyes, the dimples in her elbows, or her teeny, tiny feet and hands. She's my precious Lucero, the one person on the planet I do not hesitate to smother with affection.

Happy Birthday, Lucero. I love you more than you'll ever know.